The Parable Revisited
Many of us have probably heard the ancient story about the prodigal son. There was a rich man who had two sons. One day the younger son asked his father to give him his share of the inheritance now. The father divided up his possessions and gave his younger son his share. Once the younger son received it, he gathered all his possessions and set off for a distant country. There he squandered all the wealth he was given in wild living.
A severe famine came to the country where the younger son resided. Having lost everything, he found himself feeding pigs just to survive. He eventually came to his senses and went back home to his father, planning to beg his father to take him back as a servant instead of a son.
But what happens next is extraordinary. When the father sees his son returning from a distance, he doesn't wait with folded arms and a lecture prepared. Instead, he runs to his son, embraces him, and celebrates his return with a feast. This display of unconditional love challenges many of our modern parenting approaches.
The Challenge of Modern Parenting
Too many parents today demand things of their children that they don't consistently do themselves. We tell our children to limit screen time while we scroll through social media for hours. We lecture about healthy eating while grabbing fast food on busy nights. Our children see this disconnect, and it undermines our credibility.
It's possible—perhaps even likely—that your children will go against your values and what you stand for. Most children are more than likely to stray from the path you set out for them and make their own mistakes. This isn't a parenting failure; it's human nature and part of the growth process.
Learning from the Divine Father
Parents need to learn from God the Father in how He treats God the Son, Jesus. Their relationship demonstrates perfect love, respect, and support while allowing freedom. Similarly, parents need to take note of the father in Jesus's parable who is a reflection of God the Father—selfless, full of love, willing to let go, honoring promises, and godly grace.
This father didn't chase after his son or try to control him from afar. He didn't send messengers to spy on his activities. He simply waited, probably prayed, and kept his heart open for his son's return.
Walking the Talk Before Talking the Walk
Parents need to focus on personal growth and being the best versions of themselves. We must walk the talk ourselves before telling off our children. This authenticity builds trust and respect that mere authority never can.
Perhaps most challenging of all, we must learn to let our children go if they stray, not forcing them to stay, but trusting God that He will bring them back eventually. This requires tremendous faith—both in God and in the foundation we've laid in our children's lives.
Patience: The First Virtue of Love
In the apostle Paul's famous writing on what love is in 1 Corinthians 13, there's a reason why he wrote that love is "patient" first. This quality, which the father displayed toward his prodigal son, is the hardest and most important quality of love. Patience allows space for growth, mistakes, and reconciliation.
As a father with a son and daughter of my own, I've already started to prepare myself internally for the challenges ahead. I know there will be times when my children may choose paths I wouldn't choose for them. When those moments come, I hope to remember the father in this parable—watching, waiting, and ready to celebrate their return rather than condemn their departure.
Finding Grace in the Waiting
The waiting period while our children explore their independence can be agonizing for parents. We worry, we wonder, we wish we could protect them. But sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to step back and allow them to experience the natural consequences of their choices, while keeping our door and hearts open.
This doesn't mean we stop being parents or abandon our responsibility to guide and teach. Rather, it means we recognize the limits of our control and the importance of our children developing their own relationship with God and their own moral compass.
Conclusion: Being the Father They Can Return To
The most powerful aspect of this parable isn't actually what the father did when his son left—it's what he represented that made his son want to come home. Even in his darkest moment, feeding pigs in a foreign land, the son remembered a father who was fair, loving, and generous even to his servants.
As parents, our greatest success may not be raising children who never stray, but being the kind of parents our children know they can always return to—no matter what. That requires us to be humble about our own imperfections, consistent in our love, and patient beyond what feels natural.
In my own journey as a father, I'm learning that sometimes the most godly parenting doesn't look like perfect control but godly love—the kind that sets boundaries but doesn't build walls, that offers guidance but respects agency, and that always leaves the light on for return.
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