If I could sit down with my teenage self, I would tell him that there are three lessons he will not learn that will cost him years of confusion and missed opportunities. They weren’t in any textbook. No teacher ever brought them up. And yet, they have shaped my life more than anything I was formally taught.
1. School Trains You to Be an Employee, Not for Success
What we learn in school contributes very little to how well we do later in life. The system is set up to prepare students to become employees for the existing societal structure — and most of us don’t realize this until we’re already out of school, struggling to make a living, manage our lives, and build a future.
“The skills that actually determine success in life are rarely found in a school curriculum.”
Things like how to learn independently, communicate clearly, network with confidence, build and manage relationships, resolve conflict, sell ideas, invest money, and manage your finances — these are some of the ingredients for a successful life. And school doesn’t teach them.
Here’s what I would have done differently if I had known this as a teenager:
Read more nonfiction books
Attended workshops and events outside of school to develop practical life skills
Attempted more real-world projects and entrepreneurial endeavours early on
2. Stop Chasing Outcomes — Build Systems Instead
Growing up, there was an unspoken emphasis on achieving good outcomes — getting A’s on your report card, winning competitions, and hitting targets. Nobody talked about what happens after you graduate and enter the real world, where failure is inevitable and constant.
Being obsessed with outcomes doesn’t serve you well in the long run, because outcomes — good or bad — are temporary. They last only a moment and eventually pass. What endures, and what actually compounds over time, are good habits, processes, and systems.
“Good habits and systems increase your odds of continuous success throughout your life. A single outcome — good or bad — does not.”
If I had understood this as a teenager, I would have saved myself from many crushing moments of disappointment and devastation. More importantly, I would be further along in where I want to be in life. The question worth asking isn’t “Did I get the result I wanted?” but rather “Am I building the right habits, processes, and systems?”
3. God Is Meant to Be Experienced, Not Just Studied
Growing up, the church I attended was run much like a school: information was delivered during the morning service, and more was dispensed in Sunday school. Year after year, the content became stale and disconnected from real life. And over time, I watched it push more people away from God than draw them closer.
I don’t believe God intended for human beings to know him primarily through the accumulation of information. If scholarly theology were the path to God, the vast majority of people would be disqualified.
“In the Bible, God consistently invites people to seek him the way you’d search for buried treasure — actively, personally, and with your whole heart.”
The invitation isn’t to debate God or rationalize your way into belief. It’s to seek, to experience, and to encounter. If I had understood this as a teenager, I believe I would have avoided the deep existential crisis I went through entering my twenties, and I would have encountered God far sooner.
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