If I could sit down with my teenage self, I would tell him that there are three lessons he will not learn that will cost him years of confusion and missed opportunities. They weren’t in any textbook. No teacher ever brought them up. And yet, they have shaped my life more than anything I was formally taught.
1. School Trains You To Be An Employee, Not For Success
What we learn in school contributes very little to how well we do later in life. The system is set up to prepare students to become another cog in the existing societal system—and most of us don’t realize this until we’re already out of school, struggling to make a living, manage our lives, and build a future.
“The skills that actually determine success in life are rarely found in a school curriculum.”
Things like how to learn independently, communicate clearly, network with confidence, build and manage relationships, resolve conflict, sell ideas, invest money, and manage your finances are just some of the ingredients for a successful life, and school doesn’t teach them.
Here’s what I would have done differently if I had known this as a teenager:
Read more nonfiction books
Intentionally sought to develop more life skills
Attended workshops and events outside of school
Attempted more real-world projects and entrepreneurial endeavours early on
2. Stop Chasing Outcomes — Build Systems Instead
Growing up, there was an unspoken emphasis on achieving good outcomes — getting A’s on your report card, winning competitions, and hitting targets. But this mindset doesn’t fare well when you graduate and enter the real world, because you will be devastated when you inevitably fail and get poor outcomes.
Outcomes, good or bad, last only a moment and eventually pass. Good habits, processes, and systems increase your odds of continuous success throughout your life.
Developing good habits, processes, and systems is more important than being obsessed with outcomes. The outcome is a byproduct of the system. If I had known this back when I was a teenager, I would have saved myself from many moments of disappointment, devastation, and depression — and I would be further along in my goals and aspirations than I am now.
3. God Is Meant to Be Sought After, Not Just Studied
Growing up, the church I attended was run much like a school: information was delivered during the morning service, and more was dispensed in Sunday school. Year after year, the content became stale and unrelatable. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it turn more people away from God than draw them toward Him.
I don’t believe God intended for human beings to know him primarily through the accumulation of information. If scholarly theology were the path to God, the vast majority of people would be disqualified.
“In the Bible, God consistently invites people to seek him the way you’d search for buried treasure — actively, personally, and with your whole heart.”
It's not about debating God or rationalizing your way into belief or disbelief. It’s to hold God to his word, to apply it, to seek to experience, and to encounter. If I had understood this as a teenager, I believe I would have avoided the deep existential crisis I went through entering my twenties, and I would have encountered God far sooner.
There’s a common thread in these three lessons: the things that matter most in life aren’t the things we’re formally taught. Real-world skills, process over outcome, and a living faith are things you have to pursue intentionally. Don't just settle for what the establishment tells you; get out there and discover for yourself.
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